pardon me while I burst into flames.

Am I the only one who is not digging this unseasonably warm weather bullshit? Here in Alabama we typically have a few weeks of delicious spring – I’m talking 70-75º, puffy clouds and refreshing breezes. Birds singing. Flowers blooming. Goldilocks weather: just right. Not so much right now. We’re in Papa Bear’s porridge now.

Last year we had a crazy mix of weather the first half of the year – tons of snow (for us, at least: about 8 inches in January, which is laughable to you people who get a regular dumping from November to March), the largest tornado outbreak ever recorded, capped with a crazy hot, sudden summer. All sorts of bugs and allergens misplaced by the tornadoes’ destruction made going outside complete misery… then our air conditioner quit working in June, and we didn’t have enough money to repair it after my husband lost his full time job in February. It was either boil inside, or outside. (We visited Target often whether we needed groceries or not, and my August week at a hotel in Austin was spent marinating in a/c turned down to a glorious 64.)

Boehme house blues.

This past winter, however, has been incredibly mild. It may have gotten down the 20’s a night or two, but the temperatures hovered nicely around 40. No snow, just typical Alabama winter rain.

Punxsutawny Phil is clearly an idiot, though, and spring hit early. We’ve seen 80º+ already, and it’s not even April. I had hoped through the balmy, grey breezes of winter that the mildness would last all year long… surely after Mother Nature’s bipolar outbreaks of 2011, she would take her meds in 2012. She owes us that much.

I hate hot weather, as much as I love and need the sunshine. You’d think a born-and-reared Southerner, after nearly 25 years of living in the same place, would learn to love 100% humidity and triple-digit temps. But no, I am a cardigan-and-skinny-jeans kinda girl, all year round. Short dresses with leggings. Boots and skirts. Thin layers. Summertime around here and even the thinnest of sweaters do not a sweet pairing make, and the relationship is sticky at best. What’s a shorts-hating girl to do in Alabama come July?

All I’m asking for is a little more spring and a little less summer, Mother Nature. Cool down until May at least. My tulips have bloomed and are practically dead already… no bueno. The one saving grace is that the 2012 early-bloomer Bradford pears have lost their disgusting tuna perfume in a flurry of snow-like petals, stripped by Her warm and volatile air (yes, we’ve already had some good storms – I’ve got some wicked sky shots to share). Maybe she’ll keep it under 100º this year, too. A girl can only hope.

p.s. Thanks to my fabulous in-laws for the gift of heating and air this past Christmas. They paid for our unit to be fixed, saving us from another year of misery.

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One response to “pardon me while I burst into flames.

  1. Pingback: Wittlebee first box review! | kelli boehme

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